Divorced But Leaving a Positive Parental Legacy

Sandy Balick of ConsensusPointMediation.com discusses the organization and patience it takes to parent successfully post-divorce.My friends all know that I suffer from a lifetime obsession – I am a train buff. My condition is not limited to model trains, and it includes the history of anything interesting having to do with trains. I see many of life’s issues filtered through a train-related perspective. Before you conclude that I‘ve lost my grip on reality, let me give a quick illustration.

Here in New York, we prize our Grand Central Terminal and mourn, even to this day, the passing of our other great terminus, Penn Station. An interesting thing about the Grand Central we know and love today is that it was erected even while the facility it replaced was being taken down – all without a suspension of operations. It was a remarkable accomplishment, and required going about things in a careful, orderly and planned way, over time.

What does this conceivably have to do with mediating the dissolution of a marriage and leaving a positive parental legacy? It is simply to say that while something is dismantled, something positive may be built to take its place. Thus, marital mediation offers parents in the process of divorce an effective means by which to terminate their marital situation in an orderly and controlled manner, while at the same time helping them to pour the foundations of a sound parenting relationship.

In the heat of marital disintegration, the point is sometimes lost that soon-to-be-divorced spouses/parents will, until their passing days, remain parents. And it is vital to their children that this parental relationship continues to function in a manner that is both supportive and cooperative, even as the divorce process wends its way to conclusion.

There are several critical attributes to ensuring a positive divorce legacy. These include:

  1. The adoption of a parent-driven flexible decision making process.
  2. A parental commitment to act in a manner that is best calculated to shield the children from the psychic scars of divorce.
  3. A commitment on the part of the ex-spouses/parents to act, at all times (at least until emancipation), as a supportive unit in relation to the children.

Marital mediation cannot guarantee the result, but it is a process more likely to produce a positive marital legacy for your children. Why? Tune in for the next installment.

You may not always be a spouse, but you will always be a parent. How are you and your ex-spouse handling the job of parenting? Please share any ideas that might help other divorced couples in this situation, in the “Comments” box below.

Sanford (Sandy) Balick, Attorney & Mediator, NY Sandy Balick signature
Sanford E. Balick, Esq.
Founder & Principal Mediator
Consensus Point Mediation, LLC.

Phone: (646) 340-3434
Email: ConsensusPointLLC@gmail.com
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2 Responses to Divorced But Leaving a Positive Parental Legacy

  • Chuck Hill says:

    Your analogy with Grand Central Terminal remaining in continuous operation during construction is particularly on point. Parents must and can find ways to deconstruct their marriage while simultaneously providing for the present and future welfare of their children. Thanks for a great analogy and a bit of history I did not know.

  • Jim says:


    Great analogy and point well taken and well written on the issue of kids in a divorce – clear, succinct and has a punch.

    Best regards,


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