Why Do This Sort of Work?


More than a few friends who knew me as a proctor in admiralty (maritime lawyer) have wondered (and some still do) what possessed me to get involved in what they perceive as the rough and tumble world of divorce mediation. They assume this work entails constant exposure to the worst side of human relations. Mediators are indeed witness to much unpleasantness, but they also find themselves present at the creation, so to speak, of two new lives and herein lies the beauty and challenge of this work.

Sandy Balick, Consensus Point MediationThe couple, guided by the mediator (who remains neutral throughout) are the creators of their own solution. They, in a very real sense, do the work and the work is nothing less than the creation of a civil conclusion to the untenable situation they, for whatever reason, found themselves in. They are the real architects of their dissolution.

Architect may seem like an odd reference here as we normally associate the word with the creation of an edifice, but there is an enduring structure that is the outcome of the mediation process. It is a durable arrangement (ultimately, the Separation Agreement) by which marital assets, debts, etc. are managed for the benefit of both.

The architecture may even be stunning, especially where children and teenagers are present in the marriage. Here, the ultimate agreement will address critical issues of how the children are to be raised, educated and shared by the soon-to-be-former spouses. The mediator will have guided the couple, literally, to the creation of a structure that will support their dealings and interactions over the children for many years to come.

While the mediator is no architect, it is deeply gratifying to see things worked out over a period of weeks and to be witness as couples work out their concerns and create a satisfying Agreement for everyone involved.

We would be pleased to schedule a consultation with you and your spouse to explore the divorce mediation process and to answer your questions about it. There is no fee or commitment for this consultation. We invite you to call us at (646) 340-3434 to schedule an appointment.

Feel free to ask any questions, to comment, or to request more information in the Comments Box below. Also, please feel free to forward this blog to anyone you know who might be interested in its topic.

Sanford (Sandy) Balick, Attorney & Mediator in New York Sandy Balick signature
Sanford E. Balick, Esq.
Founder & Principal Mediator
Consensus Point Mediation, LLC.

Phone: (646) 340-3434
Email: ConsensusPointLLC@gmail.com


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One Response to Why Do This Sort of Work?

  • Very nice article! as a fellow divorce and family mediator, I feel the same way you do about the creative process involved in helping people build structures for a new life after divorce. divorce mediators enter the picture at a time in our clients’ lives when previous life structures may seem to be like smouldering ruins: “my marriage has ended, now what?” though the process can at times be challenging, we help the parties discern the issues and develop solutions that help rebuild a new structure for the future, hopefully in ways that help everyone move forward with a positive and secure footing for the future.

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